


That cold black cloud is comin' around (And I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door)

by princessclarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Becho Breakup, Bellarke Endgame, Blood and Injury, Brainwashing, Course Language, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Injured Clarke, M/M, Nightmares, POV Alternating, Planet traveling, Protectiveness, Psychological Torture, Season seven rewrite, War, void!bellamy, void!clarke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27329959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessclarke/pseuds/princessclarke
Summary: And I’d choose youin a hundred lifetimesin a hundred worldsin any version of realityI’d find you andI’d choose you.-The Chaos of StarsA seventh season rewrite that takes place five minutes before the end of Blood of Sanctum
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Minor Echo/Hope Diyoza, Minor Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller - Relationship, Minor John Murphy/Raven Reyes - Relationship
Comments: 18
Kudos: 42





	That cold black cloud is comin' around (And I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Welcome to my season seven rewrite! I’m really nervous to post this, but super excited to write it! Writing is one of my biggest passions and I’m trying really hard to improve, so if you read things you think could use improving please let me know (respectfully please, I’m annoyingly sensitive ahaha) This fic is angsty and gets dark at times, so I’ll be putting trigger warnings for things I think will need them, although if you read something and think I should add a warning for something please let me know!  
> This chapter deals with the aftermath of Josephine and what the Primes did to Clarke and how she’s dealing with it.  
> Without farther ado, here’s part 1 of my Blood of Sanctum rewrite!
> 
> Special thanks to my friends Bia & Kristen for reading this and giving me the confidence to post it <3 also thanks to my best friend who’s helping me brainstorm ideas for this story

“We did do better,” Bellamy says as he stares into Clarke’s teary eyes. The look on her paling face was making his heartache; her hands were trembling and gripping Bellamy’s sleeves tightly as if she was afraid is she loosens her grip, he might slip away. “I have to believe that that matters”.

Clarke’s ocean eyes look over his face as if she’s trying to find the insincerity in his words. It almost makes him laugh. As if he’d ever lie to her. Clarke-who was of iron gazes, and a steady posture was crumbling in front of him. Her usually closed off eyes were wild and puffy, her lips, which were normally pressing together in a firm line was trembling, and she looks as if she was going to fall to the floor any minute.

She pulls him back into another hug, and Bellamy melts into her once again. Bellamy feels her warm breath tickle his neck, which makes him squeeze his eyes shut and bury his face into her hair. He runs his hand up and down her back, mumbling sweet nothings into her ear. Anything to let her know he’s here for her, to let her know how important she is and how much he cares for her.

They stay together for another few moments before Clarke speaks. “I miss my mom,” she whispers into his ear, and he can hear the pain rip at her quiet voice.

Bellamy tightens her grip on her protectively. “I’m so sorry, Clarke,” he replies, voice breaking at the thought of Clarke watching her mother die in front of her, twice. Once when she realizes her mother was no longer her mother, and a second time whenever Abby Griffin's body died too. 

“I...I watched her die,” she cries. “I floated her,” and now she’s sobbing into Bellamy’s shoulder.

She must be exhausted; she hasn’t slept since two days ago after he performed CPR on her and brought her back to life. The two had stayed close the entire time, fingers intertwined as they sat in silence, content to just be in the presence of each other. Clarke didn’t really talk, but Bellamy could tell she was shook from what happened. Bellamy had quietly spoken to her, he doesn’t really remember about what, but he’s pretty sure she passed out on his shoulder halfway through the story of Odysseus and Eurydice. She had only been asleep for a couple of hours, she awoke gasping for breath, hair sticky against her sweat soaked forehead. Bellamy assumes she was dreaming about the minds-cape, because she woke up disoriented and afraid, disbelieving that Bellamy was real for a couple of minutes until Bellamy reminded her that she was no longer trapped inside her own head.

Bellamy shudders at the thought. That sounds like a nightmare...although Bellamy has nightmares nearly every night, and even though they wake him to a cold sweat and pounding heart, they don’t sound as terrifying as almost getting killed in your own head.

And then Madi was in trouble, but Bellamy sees the child standing a few feet away, arms wrapping around Jordan in a hug, she looks tired, but she seems like herself again. Bellamy sighs in relief. 

“Is Madi alright?” He asks. 

“Yes..we removed the chip. Sheidheda isn’t controlling her anymore.”

“And he’ll never hurt her again,” Bellamy says-promises.

Clarke nods as she sniffles into his shoulder.

“How about you go get some sleep?” Bellamy asks her softly, hand still in her hair.

“N..no,” Clarke stutters, stumbling over her words in a very un-Clarke like fashion.

She pulls away from the hug, but her hands don’t leave his arms. “I’m okay,” she breathes, although Bellamy knows Clarke Griffin well enough to know when she’s lying. “There’s still a lot that I need to do.”

She nods her head behind her. “R...Russel is still on our ship. We gotta do something with him”

“And we will,” Bellamy promises. “But first, you need to rest.”

Clarke shakes her head. “It’s still early...” she starts.

“Clarke,” Bellamy cuts off, although his voice was still calm. “You and Madi should go get some sleep. I’ll handle Russel, okay?” He urges.

Clarke looks him in the eyes; small lips press into a firm line. Her eyes wander away from his face and towards her daughter, who was standing beside Raven and Murphy.

She sighs, and Bellamy can’t help the small smile that tugs at his lips because he knows he’s won. “Okay,” she whispers with a slight nod of her head.

Clarke’s hands drop to her sides limply, and Bellamy pulls her into his side. She leans into him, and Bellamy can feel the exhaustion rolling off her in waves. 

He wraps his arm around her, and the two walk towards Madi and the others. The sun was setting slowly behind the horizon, casting Sanctums square into a golden glow. Bellamy glances down at Clarke, her blonde hair and pale cheeks now golden.

“Madi,” Bellamy says softly. The girl turns away from the conversation she was having with now a majority of their friends. The others avert their gaze towards Bellamy and Clarke, their expressions softening.

“Clarke, I’m so sorry,” Echo says, standing off to the side with a soft look in eyes. Clarke stays leaning up against Bellamy’s side, but Murphy walks over and squeezes her shoulder, his eyes wide and teary. “Me too, I’m sorry about your mom, and everything else.” 

Clarke stumbles away from Bellamy’s grasp to give Murphy a quick hug. “It’s okay,” she whispers, although it’s loud enough for Bellamy to hear.

Murphy pulls away, and Jackson takes his place. “I’m sorry, Clarke,” Jackson mumbles.

“I’m sorry to Jackson,” she says back as she pulls away from the quick embrace. 

Jackson goes back to wrap his arms around Miller, who gives Clarke his condolences as well. Clarke thanks him and leans back against Bellamy. She’s leaning against him even more now. Bellamy has to hold her steady. 

“I think Clarke and Madi should go get some sleep,” Bellamy says. “I’ll go to the ship and bring Russel back to Sanctum.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Raven says with a curt nod. “And then what are we going to do with that son of a bitch?”

Bellamy hesitates but lets out a breath. “We’ll decide later, for now, I’m gonna take them to bed,” Bellamy says, outstretching his hand for Madi to take.

She grips onto his hand immediately and shuffles closer to him. 

“Night Madi,” Raven says, shooting her a warm smile that Madi reciprocates.

“Night Raven, night everyone,” Madi replies.

Raven steps forward and squeezes Clarke's shoulder softly. “Goodnight, Clarke”

Clarke’s eyes are closing at this point, but she smiles at Raven. “Night”

The others all say their good nights, and Bellamy’s walking across the square with Clarke resting on his left and Madis hand holding his right. 

“Madi, are you alright?” Clarke asks, turning her head to look at the brunette.

“I’m okay, mom, tired, though,” she replies. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, baby,” she mumbles, growing heavier in Bellamy’s hold as she slowly slips out of conciseness.

The Griffins and Bellamy walk into the tavern and up the stairs and onto the second floor, which was housing all the bedrooms Bellamy and crew were sleeping in. 

He opens one of the empty rooms and looks down at Clarke. “Want to go lie down while I put Madi to sleep?” He asks.

Clarke hesitates but nods her head. She pulls away from Bellamy and walks in front of Madi. She cups the child's face in her hands and places a soft kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight, my little natblida,” Clarke says. “I love you so much.”

Madi kisses her mom on the forehead as well and wraps her arms around Clarke’s neck. “I love you too, Clarke, so much.”

Clarke gives Madi another kiss on her cheek and pulls away. “Off to bed, you go now, Madi.” 

Madi nods and takes Bellamy’s hand in hers, he sees a smile tug on Clarke’s lips at the gesture, but her eyes quickly avert from their joint hands and to Bellamy’s face. 

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Bellamy promises.

Clarke nods and heads into her room, blowing a final kiss to Madi before closing the door.

Bellamy looks down at Madi. “Ready for bed?” He asks her.

Madi nods. “Yeah”

The two walk down the hall together. When they reach Madi's room, her hand hovers over the doorknob. She looks over to Bellamy, her big blue eyes so similar to Clarke’s it makes him smile to himself. “Hey, Bellamy?” She asks, suddenly sounding rather shy.

“Yes, Madi?” He asks.

“Will you tell me a story?”

Bellamy blinks, his eyes widening from surprise. “A story?” He repeats.

Madi nods. “Clarke used to tell me stories a lot; I loved hearing about all the heroes and all the battles you guys fought, maybe I could hear one of them from your point of view?”

“What did she tell you about?” Were the words that decide to fall from his lips in reply before he had a moment to think it over.

Madi smiles. “All sorts. If you don’t want to, it’s okay,” she says with a shrug of her shoulder.

“No,” he says quickly. “No, I will, into bed first.”

Madi opens the door and walks into her bedroom, which is identical to all the others other than the clothes thrown around the floor and the big sketchbook that lay on a night table beside the bed that was up against the wall. A window was above the mattress. It’s blinds open so what was remaining of the sun's light was pouring into the room. When Madi shrugs her jacket off, Bellamy walks over to the window. He takes a quick look outside, admiring the view of the town square. Some of his friends were still out, along with a lot of other people milling about Sanctum. He looks towards the sky, which was growing darker as the minutes slip by. The stars would be out soon, Bellamy used to love the stars. But the constellations were different here, reminding him of how far they’ve gotten from what he used to call home.

“You alright?” Madi asks, her voice making him jump slightly.

Bellamy turns his head to see Madi under the covers, long dark waves falling neatly over her shoulders. She wraps the thick white blanket around her shoulders and melts back into the pillows. He could see the dark circles under her eyes, although she didn’t look as tired as she did when she first walked back into Sanctum.

“I’m okay,” Bellamy smiles. “I was just thinking,” he takes a final look out the window before shutting the blinds, casting the room into darkness, although it still wasn’t dark enough outside to make it overly difficult to see.

Madi scoots over towards the left side of her bed and pats the empty spot beside her. Bellamy smiles softly and takes the seat beside her. “Okay, Madi,” he says. “What story would you like me to tell?”

“Tell me...” Madi starts, bringing her finger up to her chin as she thinks. “Tell me about the first time you met Clarke.”

Bellamy can’t help the laugh that escapes his lips. He wasn’t expecting that. “You sure? We weren’t exactly friends at first.”

“I know,” Madi grins. She buries herself deeper into the blankets and nods her head towards him. “Tell me.”

Bellamy sighs and shakes his head slightly, he’s thought of this memory hundreds of times before, but he’s never actually told it to anyone. “Alright,” he whispers. “Once upon a time...”

That makes Madi laugh, although she quickly quiets down, and Bellamy begins the story that starts the most important, heartbreaking and beautiful relationship in his life.

When he’s sure Madi was asleep, he pulls the covers up to her neck and gets up to leave. “Bellamy,” a little voice says. Bellamy freezes and looks back at Madi. “Did I wake you up? Sorry Madi”

She shakes her head. “No,” she says, yawning into the pillow. “I just want to say thank you.”

“For what?” He asks in surprise.

“For protecting Clarke and me,” she says with an eye roll as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You..you don’t need to thank me,” he stutters. “I’ll always protect you and Clarke, Madi; you’re my family.”

Madi smiles sleepily. “You’re our family too,” she whispers, her eyes already shut when she adds a quiet. “Night Bellamy”

“Goodnight, Madi,” he smiles softly, watching her body relax as she slips into slumber.

Bellamy turns and walks out of the room. Before he leaves, he picks Madis jacket up off the floor and hangs it up on the back of the door. A smile spreads across his face as he closes it.

The hallway is much brighter than Madi's bedroom, and it takes his eyes a moment to adjust to the sudden change in lighting. 

Once they do, he quickly walks to Clarke’s room, expecting her to be already asleep. It took Madi a lot longer to fall asleep then he had initially thought.

Although when he opens the door, a yelp greets him. “It’s just me,” Bellamy says quickly as he rushes into Clarke’s bedroom, closing the door softly behind him.

Clarke was standing in the middle of the room, her eyes were wide when he first walks in, but they quickly soften when she realizes it's Bellamy who entered.

She lets out a breath of relief as she runs her fingers through her messy blonde waves. “Sorry,” she sighs. “You just startled me.”

“No need to apologize, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he replies with a smile.

She shakes her head and waves her hand in the air dismissively. “No need to apologize either,” 

The two stand in silence for a moment, staring at each other shyly until Clarke looks away, pink tinting the rims of her ears. Was she hot? The room didn’t feel overly warm to him.

“Madi, fall asleep, okay?” Clarke asks, interrupting his train of thought.

“Yeah, not until I finished the story of how we first met, though,” he laughs lightly.

“O..oh,” she stutters. “Sorry, she likes hearing stories before bed; I should’ve tucked her in.”

“No, it's okay! It..it was fun,” he says quickly, heat rushing to his cheeks.

Clarke ducks her head and smiles, a look that made Bellamy’s heart speed up. “Thank you,” she says.

“Anytime,” he replies, and he means it. 

Clarke stays silent a moment. She opens her mouth as if she’s about to speak but closes it quickly, fingers fidgeting with the bottom of her tank top. 

“Are you alright?” Bellamy asks, although he mentally rolls his eyes for the ridiculous question. After all the events that happened, Clarke obviously wasn’t okay, but he couldn’t help the question from falling from his lips when he sees the look in Clarke's eyes.

“Yeah,” she says quickly, releasing the bottom of her tank top and crossing her arms over her chest protectively. She’s not looking at him, blue eyes staring at the old wood flooring as if it’s the most interesting thing in the universe.

“Clarke,” Bellamy whispers, her shoulders tense, but she doesn’t look up. “Clarke look at me, please?”

Clarke sighs and averts her gaze from the floor to Bellamy, who could see her facade crumbling in front of him. “I’m here” he says quietly. “I’m here for you Clarke”

Clarke stays quiet a moment, eyes glued to Bellamy’s. And then its like the dam finally breaks, Clarke surges towards Bellamy, wrapping her arms around him yet again. Bellamy holds her tightly, Clarke sobs into his shoulder. Her knees buckle underneath her, and Bellamy sinks to the floor after her. Clarke sat on her knees, body dropping aross Bellamy’s chest. “I’m so scared” she cries, gripping the back of Bellamy’s cardigan. “I…I’m so scared. I’m scared to fall asleep and wake up there again. or I’ll wake up and realize this was all in my head, that Josephine won after all”

“This is real Clarke” he whispers, stroking her hair soothingly as he rocks her slowly back and forth. “Josephine is gone, for good” 

“It was awful Bellamy” she whispers, and Bellamys heart shatters. He hugs her tighter, tears prickling the backs of his eyes. “I’m so sorry” he says back, voice breaking. “I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you”

“Bellamy please don’t apologize” she cries. “You saved me. You…you didn’t give up on me”

“Never will” he whispers back. “I’ll never give up on you. We’re in this together, right? The heart and the head”

A wet laugh escapes Clarke’s throat, he feels her nod her head against his shoulder. “Yeah. The heart and the head” she says weakly. He continues stroking her hair, she’s still crying, but Bellamy just rocks her and whispers soothing nothings into her ear, hoping maybe she’ll fall asleep and get some very needed rest.

As if reading his mind, which Bellamy sometimes wonders if she could do since she always knew exactly what he was thinking, she mumbles:

“I’m afraid to fall asleep. I don’t want to lose you, or Madi or myself again”

Bellamy takes a breath in through his nose. “I’ll be right here, I’ll stay until you fall asleep okay?” He asks. “ I’ll make sure you’re safe. I promise”

Clarke pauses, and he thinks she's going to argue. 

“You promise?’ She asks, her voice sounding so small. “I promise” he says back. Clarke continues hugging Bellamy a few more moments before pulling away. He smiles at her, then gets to his feet, offering her his hand once he’s standing. Clarke smiles back and takes his hand, he hoists her to her feet, she stumbles a little but quickly regains her balance. She laughs a little, although it quickly melts into a yawn. 

“Time for bed” Bellamy grins, placing his hand on her arm and directing her to her bed. She stumbles towards it and collapses on top of it, making a small chuckle bubble up in Bellamys throat. Clarke tucks herself under the blankets, pulling it up to her chin. She lays sideways, eyes looking at Bellamy, who was standing a few feet away. He walks closer, Clarke’s eyes linger on him as he comes towards her. He takes a seat at the end of her bed, which she didn’t take up much of. “You need to get some sleep too” she mumbles, half into the pillow. “I will, you first though” he replies. Clarke’s eyes are drooping shut, they’re red and puffy from crying, and Bellamy wishes more than anything he could take all her pain away, if he could, he’d do it in a heartbeat. But he can’t do that, so instead he can simply be there for her. 

“Goodnight Clarke” he whispers, watching her eyes flutter shut. “Night Bell” she responds, already half asleep. Bellamys heart speeds up at the use of the nickname he’s never heard come from Clarke’s mouth. It makes his cheeks go warm and a smile spread across his face. He directs his gaze away from a hopefully soon sleeping Clarke and looks towards the floor. He lets out a breath and shakes his head, he was tired after this exhausting and terrifying week, but hes going to be alright for a couple hours if it meant Clarke sleeping comfortably. He almost lost her again, he was determine to make sure the two of them are never separated ever again. He turns his head slightly to get a look at the blonde, who’s lips were slightly parted and face more relaxed than its been in awhile. He smiles at the sight, warmth filling his chest as he watches her chest rise and fall. He flits his gaze back to the floor, and just allows himself a bit to take a breather.

He’s sitting there for probably fifteen minutes before he hears a knock on her door. Bellamy quickly glances towards Clarke, nervous the sudden noise may scare her, but she doesn’t seem to have heard. He stands up from Clarke’s bed carefully, she makes a little noise and Bellamy freezes. Thankfully she still doesn’t wake, so Bellamy exhales and makes his way towards the door. 

He doesn’t really think before opening it, so he’s lucky Echo is standing behind the door and not some sort of attacker. He takes a final glance back at a sleeping Clarke before stepping out of the room and closing the door as gently as possible. “Hey” he whispers, leaning up against the wall beside the door. “Everything alright?’

Echo nods, giving him a soft smile. “Yes, everything’s fine. We brought Russel back into Sanctum, he’s locked away in the palace”

“Oh, sorry, I was going to help with that” he sighs. “Are you okay? Everyone fine?’

“Don’t be sorry, I understand. Yes it was fine, everyone’s okay. Are Clarke and Madi alright?” She asks, hands tucking into her jacket pockets.

“Yeah. Madi went to sleep pretty easily, took a bit to calm Clarke down, but they’re both okay” he says fondly. 

Echo nods. “That’s good, they both certainly need the rest” 

“Yeah” Bellamy replies. The two stand in silence a few moments, Echo looks like she wants to say something, so he isn’t surprised when she asks

“You have a second to talk?” She asks shyly, which is a tone Echo doesn’t use often. Bellamy cocks his head to the side, the nervous look across her face making him anxious. 

“Yeah of course Echo, is something wrong?” He asks, placing his hand on her arm gently. Echos eyes flicker towards his hand, then back up to his face. She sighs under her breath. 

“No Bellamy, nothing wrong” she says. “I…I need to tell you something. It may not be the best time, but I’m starting to think there’s never a good time for something like this” 

A beat, and then she says:

“I want to break up”

Bellamys eyes widen, he feels like someone dumps a bucket of ice down his back. He stands there frozen for a moment. “Wha…what?” He asks anxiously. “Did…did I do something?” 

“No..no its not..” She sighs, raking her hands through her hair nervously. “Look, Bellamy. Ive been thinking about this for awhile, and I think its whats best for both of us”

Bellamys mind was spiralling…he thought he and Echo were doing okay, what did he do? “Echo..”

“I know you’re in love with Clarke” she blurts.

Bellamy feels like the ground falls beneath him, and suddenly he’s free falling somewhere he doesn’t want to go. “Wha..what?’ He exclaims, voice wobbling. “No I’m not” he says, although his words are followed by a pang his chest. He..he wasn’t in love with Clarke. Sure she was his best friend, his partner. He knew is was soul crushing when he thinks he’s lost her, he knows his heart does a summersault when she laughs and breaks when she cries…but that was just because she was so important to him. She was his other half, and Clarke Griffin knew him better than anyone else in the world. Sure the Bellamy before Praimfaya loved her..but..but he didn’t feel that way anymore..

Right?

Right.

He’s not the same person he was before Praimfaya, his feelings have changed.

“Bellamy” Echo breathes, her voice a half laugh half grimace. “You were willing to poison your sister to protect her. You dropped everything to save her from Josephine. I saw how desperate you were Bellamy, I’ve seen how much loosing her breaks you. I’ve also seen how when she’s in the room you look at her like nothing else in the universe matters. I’ve seen the way you smile at each other, the way you know each other just as much as you know yourselves. I saw the look on your face when Madi first mentioned Clarke’s name, the relief that washed over you when you realized she was still breathing. At first I thought that’s all it was, relief. I was happy for you, but…but I see the way you act around her, how you continue to act around her. You’re vulnerable and open and all you want to do is protect her. I’ve been trained my whole life to pick up on peoples feelings and relationships..and yet..” She trails off, laughing weakly. “It took me much too long to realize you never really stopped loving Clarke”

She sighs. “I deserve to be loved the way I love you. And..and all I want is for you to be happy, truly. Which is why I think this is for the best. I don’t want to be in a relationship where you don’t love me 100%, and I don’t want to hold you back”

Bellamy closes his eyes and takes a shaky breath. “Echo..I..I do love you”

“I know you do Bellamy…” she says softly. “But you care about her more” 

And with that, Echo’s places a soft kiss on his cheek, and walks away.

Bellamy watches her leave, tears swelling up in the corners of his eyes. He bows his heads, hurt and shame and confusion all swirling around in his stomach, making him feel like he was going be sick.

With a heavy heart and guilty conscience, he trudges back into Clarke’s room. She was still sleeping, making a ghost of a smile flicker across his face. He kicks off his shoes and walks towards the edge of her bed. Bellamy smoothes the wrinkles out of the blanket and tries his best to cautiously climb over them. He lays against the wall, legs dangling over the edge of the mattress. The room was pitch black now, he couldn’t see his hands which were wringing together against his chest, which was trembling. He sucks in a breath and closes his eyes, tears trickle down his cheeks when he does so.

He stays silent in the room for awhile, the sound of the wind whistling outside the window along with Clarke’s steady breaths send him into sleep. 

When the last thing he sees before he drifts off is the thought of Clarke asleep safely beside him, he realizes Echo was right, everything she had told him was true, and the guilt in his chest grows heavier. How could he be so blind? 

He knew how, he mourned Clarke’s death for years, hating himself for never telling her how he felt about her. But eventually, he was able to heal, Clarke’s death took a permanent piece of his heart with her...but other than that he was able to move on, honour her death and bury his emotions to lead with his head, or so he thought.

A few weeks ago Clarke made a joke about her using her heart over head...but if Bellamy was her heart. Maybe she’s had it all along.

He scrubs his hand over his face, wiping away the tears that were soaking his cheeks and chin as the truth washes over him like a wave, tugging him underneath the water and filling up his lungs.

Bellamy Blake was still completely head over heels in love with Clarke Griffin, and he didn’t even realize until right now.


End file.
